Denver@L.A. Lakers-4.5
Indiana-3.5@Detroit
Atlanta-1.5@Houston
Phoenix@Oklahoma City-12
Utah@San Antonio-12.5

NBA ODDS 12/30

New Jersey Orlando	-11.5
San Antonio Houston	-2
Dallas Oklahoma City	-6.5
Chicago Sacramento	-7.5
Denver Portland	-5
New York L.A. Lakers	-4.5

NBA ODDS 12/28

ATL-5.5@NJN
MIN@MIL-5
SAC@POR-7
UTA@LAL-4.5

1030

NBA ODDS 12/27

NJN@WAS-3.5
MIL-3.5@CHA
HOU@ORL-5.5
TOR@CLE-3.5
DET@IND-8.5
MEM@SAS-4.5
NOH@PHX-6.5
PHI@POR-4.5

930

Boring Details of the New CBA

49-51% BRI split for the players

Contact lengths max out at 5  for Bird-rights players and 4 for non Bird-Rights players

A $2.5 million exception for teams below the cap to go over the cap.

The "Carmelo Anthony Rule" Sign-Extend-Trade has not been changed. Dwight Howard, CP3, and D-Will may still force sign and trades.

Amnesty Clause: Each team may waive a player and that player's salary will not count against the team's salary cap. This is the most interesting new rule. ESPN should make a new Amnesty machine. This rule is so as fun as it is sensible. Only Brandon Roy is unexcited about this new rule.

Midlevel exception: up to $5 million starting salary.  Luxury Tax teams of up to $4 million may only use $ 3 million of that exception. 

The NBA 2K12 Covers

There was nowhere for the 2K franchise to go but down after putting Michael Jordan on the cover for 2K11. Sure it was a pipe dream come true for the GOAT to finally be on the cover but you basically just screw your future covers because nothing could top the Jordan cover.


So who does 2K place on the cover? The most marketable player in the game today Dirk Nowitzki with his tongue sticking out going for a layup? Too predictable. D-Rose driving hard to the hoop? You can't put back-to-back Bulls players on covers if that Bull's name isn't Michael Jordan. Kobe Bryant playing soccer? Why not! The Miami Heat Big Three or just LeBron crying  dunking? You can't put losers Finals runner ups on the cover. (Allen Iverson is the exception.)


If no cover is going to be better, then why not put the same guy on the cover and then some. 2K retains MJ as the cover and add the 2nd and 3rd (in any order) most influential players in the history of the game: Larry Bird and Magic Johnson (is this the first time in video game history someone with HIV has graced a video game's box art? Not sure what kind of STDs Duke Nukem has.) as alternative covers to complete the Holy Trinity of basketball. This is genius because you know that crazy fan boys like me will cop up at least two of these games just to collect the cover. It's just like how SLAM Magazine releases multiple covers for one and you're forced to buy them. Or how Eevee has multiple evolutions and you're forced to catch multiple Eevees just to catch them all.

Which cover will you be getting? I suggest ALL THREE. (via Playstation blog)

I really don't care what's inside the CD case of NBA 2K12. It could be a Blu-Ray CD, it could be peanuts, used tissue paper or it could be NBA Elite for all I care. It doesn't matter anymore, I'm sold on NBA 2K12. With or without a PS3 I'm buying these games just because the covers are awesome.

Now for the burning questions:

Does this mean MJ will be on the cover forever and 2K just adds alternate covers?

Will there be a Bird vs. Magic Mode to replace Jordan Mode?

How low will LeBron's clutch rating be?

Find out on Oct. 5, 2011! In the meantime check out Kobe's hands-on preview of 2K12 at E3:

Rajon Rondo Fashion Don't #17: Socks and Thong Sandals

Rajon Rondo is many things: Celtics' All -Star point guard, NBA Champion, Patron Saint of the Fieldgoalattemptiaphoibic and now.. Fashion Police!

I wonder what Rondo thinks about Vibrams. Link to the pic

Rondo is basketball and fashion savvy. Even on the court he's made several fashion statements: the inverted headband (May it rest in peace) and the double arm sleave. Off the court his suits are slick. He even pulled off a very convincing Tiger Woods costume for Halloween. 

I hope Rondo continues to be diligent with his fashion policing duties and arrest his teammate Paul Pierce:

Smart Ultimate All-Star Weekend Game 1 Running Diary

Welcome to my running diary on Day 1 of the Smart Ultimate-Once-in-a-Lifetime-I-can't-believe-this-is-happening All-Star Weekend.  

I flipped over every local channel I knew existed at exactly seven pm but I couldn't find any coverage of the game. Maybe it was too surreal of an event to be shown on television. 40 Minutes later I receive a barrage of texts from family and friends to tune in to IBC-13. IBC?? I haven't heard about that channel since I watched Michael Jordan's last game as a Bull in '98. 

7:40 I tune in just in time to see several Philippine beauty queens including Venus Raj ramp towards center court to cover up the Big Dome logo with a piece of cloth. Somewhere out there Vanessa Bryant is getting worried.

Also, IBC-13 still uses the same satellite dish or whatever these networks use for TV reception from 1998. The quality is terrible. Even videos posted on YouTube by people watching taken with their phones are ten times more watchable than this. 

7:42 Mr. Araneta walks onto the center of the court along with MVP and other rich old dudes. He takes out a crumpled piece of paper and starts reading it word by word. Which is funny at first but then gets boring after 30 seconds.

7:45- After minutes of blah blah the whole point of his speech was how impossible this was but it actually happened. This was also the unveiling ceremony of the Smart Araneta Coliseum scraping the Big Dome. Expect many improvements in the infrastructure of Araneta now that it's in the deep pockets of Smart. 

7:49 Kobeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

7:51 - Durant warming up with the backpack on! 

7:52 Chot Reyes gives the jolliest Sideline interview and even addresses the sideline reporter Angelicopter by her ridiculous name. He is genuinely happy and excited. I wished NBA coaches would let themselves go in the sideline interviews. 

7:53 James Yap awkwardly jumps up and down in his Angelicopter interview to show how hard he tries to look excited. He also answers the questions with an awkward forced nervousness. Makes me wonder how the heck did this guy charm his way into marrying Kris Aquino.

7:54 Jimmy Alapag is surprisingly eloquent in the booth. Safe to say he's going to have a broadcasting career after he's done playing.

7:55 Kobe is surprisingly relaxed in his sideline interview. He confirms that he requested for some game tape on the PBA All-Stars but in a "yeah we did a little scouting no biggie" way but the reporter was angling the question for the Mamba to answer it smugly and in the competitive Kobe tone. But to no avail Kobe is here to have fun. 

7:56 The next player the Angelicopter lands on is reigning MVP D-Rose who looks and sounds the least bit excited during and  in which he say the word exciting and excited 7 different times.

8:02  Kobe gets the loudest cheers from a frenzied crowd during the player intros.

PBA All-Star Starters: Mark Caguioa, Arwind Santos, James Yap, Sonny Thoss, Jason Castro
Smart All-stars or should we call them the Smart Monstars? : Chris Paul, Derrick Rose, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, Javal McGee (with CP3 and McGee already looking like a match made in alley-oop heaven).

8:03 The PBA players are star-struck while exchanging high fives before tip off. The height disparity is hilarious.

8:04 And the first attempt of Team USA the Monstars is surprise surprise a CP3-to-McGee alley-oop which misses leading to an Arwind Santos field goal. 

-Santos again scores on a turnaround fadeaway in transition. Every time Santos makes a shot he smiles as if it was the first time he scored two points in his life. The PBA players are just as excited as the fans.

- The crowd ooooing and aaaing every CP3 crossover and Kobe Bryant shot attempt.

8:05 After several awful possessions on the offensive end CP3 turns up the D on Caguioa who gets stripped from behind. I would consider it an honor to have be stripped by Chris Paul

8:06 - Kobe's first basket is a dunk! Insanity ensues.
        - Castro cleanly pickpockets Chris Paul.. Twice! The crowd can't believe it. I can't believe it. The Monkees can't believe it. Chris Paul's momma can't believe it.

8:07 - Kobe posts up the PBA MVP and the "Kobe Bryant of the Philippines" (he's just a glorified chucker to be honest) James Yap on the right block and you can feel everyone in the arena salivating for the patented Kobe fade.
        - Santos makes another shot extending the PBA All-Stars are leading 10-14

8:11- Kobe high fives kids on the sideline after chasing for a loose ball. Lucky kids!
       - Durant with a very familiar transition 3 and Kobe transition dunk (Yes another dunk by Kobe! The Nazi surgery is looking good so far) as Smart takes the lead for good? 17-16

8:14 - Player coach Kobe Bryant subs in Derek Fisher, Derrick Williams, The Beard and Tyreke. The PBA All-Stars sub in Norwood, Seagal... aww who cares who they sub in!

       - Why the heck is Derek Fisher here. Isn't he supposed to be doing union work or is this to showthe owners the players get love everywhere and can play anywhere they want?

8:15 - Durant makes another transition 3 and this prompts the announcers to repeatedly say how unfair it is that a 7-footer has that kind of range and ball handling skills.

8:16 -Durant heat check misses a 40 foot three pointer. I'm actually glad he missed it because the announcers were ready to run up the court and start kissing his feet if he made it.

8:17 - Harden to Derick Williams for a monster oop. The Monstars are averaging 1.5 alleyoops per minute.
        - Fisher to Harden for another alleyoop! Harden is crazy bright yellow shoes but I can't see what kind of shoes it is damn it IBC.

8:20 - Derick Williams showing everything tonight the range, activity on boards, hops, the interior passing. Michael Beasley might want to start packing.



30-26 End of first surprisingly close 

8:23 - Javal with a monster block. The Monstars D forcing lots of jumpers, turnovers leading to dunks and alleys. Just how we like it.

8:30 - CP3 off a steal throws an alley off the back board to a trailing Kobe Bryant with a reverse jam?! Safe to say the Nazi surgery is a success! I don't have to tell you how ballistic the crowd went.

8:32 - Derick Williams showing the range and calmly swishes a three. I'm excited for the C-PF combo of Love and Williams fortheir three point shooting and crazy rebounding.

8:32 - After sizing up his defenders and milking the clock,  Durant settles for long threes makes two long threes. The Philippine announcer digs down his inner Mark Jackson saying "Hand Up, So What?" Hilarious they are just as high as the fans.

8:36 - Even the missed alleyoops are met with ooohs and aahss.

8:37 - Tyreke Evans gets into the party with a SICK crossover step back on who literally goes sliding on his butt a good 6 feet

8:41 - Fisher with an airball. Again, what's he doing here! I hope somebody in the SAC brought a "Lolo Fisher" sign.

8:44 - Fish gets crossed up and gets blown by Mercado a younger, quicker point guard. The story of his life.

66-50 at the Half. Inked up KD with 20 and 3.

Instead of some weird circus act for the halftime show we have a 3-point shootout! Larry Fonacier and LA Tenorio go up against James Harden and Chris Paul. The game was hosted by a really loud chick and DJ Mo Twister. Their comments on the mic were heard all over the arena so you can imagine the pressure of shooting threes with a woman making snarky comments at every miss. And there were a lot of misses. The Monstars won by only a point on a last second Chris Paul shot that looked like it shouldn't have counted. 

9:10 - The camera goes spotting for celebrities and former President Erap gets cheered as loud as Kobe.

9:11 - Kobe with another alley oop! The fountain of youth is in the Philippines that's why he keeps coming back.

9:13 - Durant iso at the top dribble dribble and settles for a three. Camera cuts to James Harden shaking his head.
        - Kobe slams in another alleyoop! He's had as many alleyoops in this game than he did last season. And these aren't just tip-in oops they were thunderous slams.

9:17 - An amazing sequence: Durant blocks the bejesus out of a lay-up attempt then passes to Kobe who leads the break with a series of fakes and crossovers tosses a perfect alleyoop scoop pass to Rose who comes out of nowhere from the right baseline and throws down one of the biggest slams of the night. This will forever be known as the MVP-to-MVP alleyoop. 

9:18 - Kobe finally gets prime post position on the right block. Kobe holds the ball and milks in the cheers of the crowd who go insane. Take note Kobe hasn't even taken a single dribble. 

        - Kobe backs down backs down shoulder fake right turnaround fadeaway - money. This would be the moment where I would have already fainted if I was in SAC.

9:23 - Durant throws up a perfect backboard alleyoop pass to harden who tomahawks it with authority. He slams it so hard that he stumbles to the floor.

9:26 - McGee has been attempting to block every jump shot his man is taking which has been the single most intimidating move of this game. It's ridiculous how high he can jump. His interior presence has been scaring the bejesus out of the PBA Selection all night.

9:36 - McGee makes his 200th dunk and follows it up with a monster block on the other end. He then slides to the ground to pose for a plank. Amazing. This is the greatest moment of Javale McGee's career.

9:40 - Chris Paul with an old school AND1 move: bounces the ball in between his defenders legs to blow by him for a layup.

          - Crowd has been begging for Kobe to insert himself back into the line up.Maybe he'll comeback in the last four minutes and go strictly pick and roll at the top with Durant. (Ala the Lakers crunch time O with Gasol)

9:45 - Kobe doesn't check back in. Probably resting himself up for game 2. Smart coaching by Kobe!

131-105 Final

Player of the game was definitely Javale McGee who made this game his own personal dunk contest. Won't be surprised if he decides to stay and never leave Philippines with all the love he's getting here. 

If there was anything good about about the lockout it's this. It's hard to put into perspective how huge of a deal this is for the hoop heads in the Philippines. Imagine 97'-'98 Michael Jordan bringing Shaq, Gary Payton, Karl Malone, young Kobe Bryant and Penny Hardaway here to the Philippines to play against Marlou Aquino and Johhny Abbarientos. You can't! (Although Shaq did come here in the late 90s and played an exhibition game with PBA cagers)


Hopefully the CBA will be in one year deals from now on.

Game 2 is tomorrow against the Philippine National team Smart Gilas. 

James Harden Dines with the Philippine Prime Minister

Kobe Bryant and several NBA superstars are coming to Manila to participate in the Smart Ultimate All-Star Weekend which will include NBA Superstars Kevin Durant, CP3, Tyreke Evans and James Harden who arrived a day earlier in Manila and will also be playing in this star-studded exhibition.

Apparently they were invited to have dinner with the Prime Minister of the Philippines (via @JHarden13 on Twitter):

This would have been a tremendous honor being invited to the Prime Minister's residence and having dinner with him and all. The only problem is of course is that the Philippines doesn't have a Prime Minister. 

There can only be two reasons for Harden's embarrassing misinformation:

1. James Harden's Beard was too jet lagged and really hungry that he was zoned out the whole time.

2. President Noynoy Aquino is terrible at introductions and first impressions.

I would go with the latter. 

The NBA Lockout So Far

July 2, 2011

The Hangover to the Vegas bachelor party that was 2010-2011 NBA season is finally here to make our heads (mostly our hearts) ache. The dreaded lock out is finally upon us and it's not looking good for us fans. The owners are pushing hard for paycuts, shorter contracts, franchise tags, less guaranteed money, more revenue shares and a hard cap. Almost everything the owners want is exactly what the players can't afford not to have. They can't even agree to the length of the new CBA, that is if they ever agree on on a new one. 

The NHL took an entire season off to come up with a hard cap and for a bigger league with a more complicated salary structure like the NBA it should at least take that long. For us to have at least half a season the owners will need to use the same cruel tactic they used on the players the last time around: wait it out till November when they the players get their first taste of not receiving a paycheck and they'll come running to the owners to compromise. 

But don't hang yourselves at the rims of your local barangay courts just yet hoop fans. The players are keeping themselves busy so naturally us fans have to stay alive long enough to care about the quirky things they've been up to:

Kobe Bryant is making a stop to Manila before he creates his own league in China made up of several NBA players touring around the People's Republic. Kobe should assemble an All-NBA team and make them go up against all the basketball teams in China. It'll be the real life equivalent of Space Jam. Kobe and Co. will be the 6-foot, multi-colored "Monstars" who have the otherworldly talents versus the "Toon Squad" made up of all Chinese players except they won't be having the arm-stretching skills of Michael Jordan (Unless Kobe decides to join the Toon Squad so if they win he will undeniably be the best player on the winning team and if they lose he'll just blame it on his teammates. It's like being on the Lakers!) 

The most depressing thing so far about the lockout so far: Brian Scalabrine is going to play in Europe.


Dear Owners and players please negotiate a deal already before we lose Steve Novak too! 

News of the lockout inspired 500 lockout related tweets from Gilbert Arenas. To be fair to Arenas he surprisingly had excellent insight regarding the lockout but we shouldn't be because he was in the league in 98. You forget that Arenas was a part of the first lockout.

You also forget that he had the worst Fro in Warriors history! 

As bad as Gil's afro was the title for worst afro in NBA history is still held by World B. Free:

World B. Free

 who recently lost his title for hippiest name in NBA history to..........

METTA WORLD PEACE might be starting brawls at the Big Dome! Asi Taulava and Ron-Ron wrestling each for rebounds anybody? Make it happen Chito.

With all the the gloom and doom the lockout has brought to the fans, the players simply start looking for their next jobs. The lockout season showcased players who were mostly out of shape due to the long layoff but now most players are going about their business looking for work elsewhere or working out to stay in shape (except maybe Baron Davis). Most of them are being proactive with finding alternatives to the NBA. As fans of these players we can do the same. The PBA season is well underway, UAAP 74 is opening on the 9th of July and all the NBA programs on Basketball TV were made before I was born so I have plenty of basketball to catch up with.

So for now let's hope an NBA player decides to sign with a PBA team and shoe companies make or Gatorade make funny lockout commercials.

Nike can start by making a LeBron commercial which starts with him saying "I'm finally working on my post game and actually learning new basketball moves." and is followed by a montage of up-fakes, pump fakes, dream shakes, up-and-unders and dropsteps. Who wouldn't want the season to start after seeing that?

Andre Miller Hates Blake Griffin

Exhibit A: December 2010


 Miller legitimately levels Blake Griffin who tumbles towards the sidelines. What was more pleasantly shocking : the strength of 6'2 Miller being able to push around 6'10-250 Griffin or how the usually calm and collected veteran taking a blatant cheap shot on one of the NBA's untouchable golden kids?

Strong Andre

  And basically calls him soft afterwards. Classy


Exhibit B: Reaction to LMA getting snubbed for the All-Star game. 


Griffin was of course the one the coaches chose because he's averaging a 20 10 and has been posterizing the entire league. Andre Miller thinks otherwise:


“It’s all publicity and hype,’’ Miller said. “The league don’t appreciate the blue collar workers. They don’t appreciate that. They make their money off the high-flyers ... That’s a slap in the face to LA.’’




.... That's a slap to the face of Blake Griffin. LMA does deserve to be in the all-star game but he only turned it on in January and February so I have no problem with Blake being selected for having a more consistent impact right out of the gate.


But what's up with the hatin Andre Miller?


Andre Miller's game is as controlled and cerebral as a PG can get. Miller will throw the occasional alley-oop but aside from that there's nothing exciting about his dribble drive game and his lets-run-a-play mentality on offense. There's a reason why he's been in the league for more than a decade but still doesn't have a nickname. After all the high-flyers that have come and gone its peculiar that Miller's embitterment was only provoked by a 6-10 rookie power forward. 


Miller should look at 2 high flying and electric PGs of his era: Stevie Franchise and Starbury. Both were at one time the most exciting point guards not named Jason Kidd. I want to ask Andre Miller "who's still playing in the NBA, starting for a playoff team in the West and still ballin with the best of them?" to make him feel better. Or I could just flat out tell him "Hey at least you ain't in CHINA!"


Blake Griffin's response:

 "See you in LA Andre-Whoops I guess there won't be any Blazers in LA unless you buy a ticket and come see me win the dunk contest." -Griffindor

Black Swan, From a bro's Perspective

From IMDB:
A ballet dancer wins the lead in "Swan Lake" and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan - Princess Odette - but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odile the Black Swan, daughter of an evil magician.

Huh?? what?? Yeah I don't get the overview either.

But anything that has A) an evil magician and B) that evil magician has a nigger daughter that is a Swan, I’m watching!

The first scene shows Natalie Portman dancing ballet...zzzz.... FASTFORWARD! As bros we have the advantage of skipping MUST SKIP all the ballet dancing scenes. I quickly realized that there will be no magicians in this film<single tear>.

But seriously the dancing is Legit. Natalie took real ballet lessons to prepare for this role so basically she’s guaranteed the oscar coz the academy loves dedication. Now all she has to do is win a grammy for THIS

Nina is a professional ballerina but at first you’ll be confused and think she’s a schoolgirl because her mom still treats her like a kid and Natalie Portman has a 12 year old’s set of breasts.

At first Nina wasn’t given the part but when she sort of begged for it from Thomas (the production head/casting dude). He expected a sexual favor. She resisted and was given the role wtf She didn’t fuck the guy but he gave it to her anyway. So he was probably homosexual sincehe wanted the opposite of having sex-  having No sex.

The Dilemma in the movie is Nina is too innocent to play the Black Swan. To play the Black Swan you have to get your freak on. So she’s told to finger herself and Thomas feels her up during practices. Which leads me to believe that all great ballerinas need to be horny sluts.

She started to finger herself face down. I didn't know that girls could do it other than lying down. That was awesome and mind blowing

Also she did this really sick 360 turn with only one foot. Made me go "Woah" almost half as amazing as Neo dodging bullets with his back bending which is still amazing.

Ouch

Here’s More Natalie Portman. Your right hands can thank me later bros



Winona Ryder is still alive! She plays Beth who was the former Swan Queen. She’s pissed that she’s replaced and goes all out Girl Interrupted again. She was an overused old toy that was no longer needed. She was great in the role because having had a million ex boyfriends that include Ironman and Jack Sparrow she knows a thing or too about being overused.



Mila Kunis seemed like she was from another movie in this film! The whole vibe in the movie was dark and depressing. She was so bubbly, sexy, fun and was the only normal person in the movie. 

Nina just makes me nervous everytime she's alone with sharp objects.

(Spoiler alert)
Natalie and Mila lezzing it up was the best part of the movie. Duh. It was spontaneous, wild,crazy and energizing coz this movie was all tense and shit. The most holy-cow-moment in a movie full of holy-shiz-moments.



Last Word: It’s like The Wrestler but for Ballet. The second half of the movie turns into a korean/japanese horror movie.

Pros: worthwhile sexytime scenes,will inspire chicks to take up ballet lessons thus making them more flexible
Cons: its about ballet