The NBA Lockout So Far

July 2, 2011

The Hangover to the Vegas bachelor party that was 2010-2011 NBA season is finally here to make our heads (mostly our hearts) ache. The dreaded lock out is finally upon us and it's not looking good for us fans. The owners are pushing hard for paycuts, shorter contracts, franchise tags, less guaranteed money, more revenue shares and a hard cap. Almost everything the owners want is exactly what the players can't afford not to have. They can't even agree to the length of the new CBA, that is if they ever agree on on a new one. 

The NHL took an entire season off to come up with a hard cap and for a bigger league with a more complicated salary structure like the NBA it should at least take that long. For us to have at least half a season the owners will need to use the same cruel tactic they used on the players the last time around: wait it out till November when they the players get their first taste of not receiving a paycheck and they'll come running to the owners to compromise. 

But don't hang yourselves at the rims of your local barangay courts just yet hoop fans. The players are keeping themselves busy so naturally us fans have to stay alive long enough to care about the quirky things they've been up to:

Kobe Bryant is making a stop to Manila before he creates his own league in China made up of several NBA players touring around the People's Republic. Kobe should assemble an All-NBA team and make them go up against all the basketball teams in China. It'll be the real life equivalent of Space Jam. Kobe and Co. will be the 6-foot, multi-colored "Monstars" who have the otherworldly talents versus the "Toon Squad" made up of all Chinese players except they won't be having the arm-stretching skills of Michael Jordan (Unless Kobe decides to join the Toon Squad so if they win he will undeniably be the best player on the winning team and if they lose he'll just blame it on his teammates. It's like being on the Lakers!) 

The most depressing thing so far about the lockout so far: Brian Scalabrine is going to play in Europe.


Dear Owners and players please negotiate a deal already before we lose Steve Novak too! 

News of the lockout inspired 500 lockout related tweets from Gilbert Arenas. To be fair to Arenas he surprisingly had excellent insight regarding the lockout but we shouldn't be because he was in the league in 98. You forget that Arenas was a part of the first lockout.

You also forget that he had the worst Fro in Warriors history! 

As bad as Gil's afro was the title for worst afro in NBA history is still held by World B. Free:

World B. Free

 who recently lost his title for hippiest name in NBA history to..........

METTA WORLD PEACE might be starting brawls at the Big Dome! Asi Taulava and Ron-Ron wrestling each for rebounds anybody? Make it happen Chito.

With all the the gloom and doom the lockout has brought to the fans, the players simply start looking for their next jobs. The lockout season showcased players who were mostly out of shape due to the long layoff but now most players are going about their business looking for work elsewhere or working out to stay in shape (except maybe Baron Davis). Most of them are being proactive with finding alternatives to the NBA. As fans of these players we can do the same. The PBA season is well underway, UAAP 74 is opening on the 9th of July and all the NBA programs on Basketball TV were made before I was born so I have plenty of basketball to catch up with.

So for now let's hope an NBA player decides to sign with a PBA team and shoe companies make or Gatorade make funny lockout commercials.

Nike can start by making a LeBron commercial which starts with him saying "I'm finally working on my post game and actually learning new basketball moves." and is followed by a montage of up-fakes, pump fakes, dream shakes, up-and-unders and dropsteps. Who wouldn't want the season to start after seeing that?